A few first observations: it’s easy to read, it’s short (160 small pages), Ensor writes in the first person and shares many of his own experiences, he relies heavily both on the Bible and on other poets and authors, most notably Shakespeare.  It seems to me to be doctrinally sound – nothing he said made me cringe.  On the back, it’s endorsed by Tim Challies (a prominent blogger of good repute) and CJ Mahaney, a pastor I trust.  He quotes John Piper several times and references the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womenhood.

Very simply, Doing Things Right seeks to define biblical manhood and womanhood, with the lens of “how does this apply to marriage relationships.”  Quoting Ensor’s quoting of Piper (from Piper’s What’s the Difference?) on page 75:

He writes of manhood:

At the heart of mature manhood is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for, and protect women in ways appropriate to a man’s differing relationships.

He writes of womanhood:

At the heart of mature womanhood is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman’s differing relationships.

That is, a biblical view of manhood and womanhood affects all male-female relationships – not just marriage relationships.  But having a proper understanding of proper gender roles is crucial in marriage.

Being a Christian Hedonist, the chapter that stuck out to me/resonated with me most was chapter 14 – “He Seeks His Happiness in Hers…. She Seeks Hers in His.”  That is, what should make us most happy is our spouse’s happiness.  But beyond that (something that Ensor didn’t really get into, as he wasn’t making an attempt to explain Christian Hedonism),  what should make us most happy is our spouse’s happiness in Christ.  This can be said about any relationship – our desire should be to point/encourage one another to know Christ more, because He is most satisfying.  And that should apply in marriage too.

Ensor does sort of hit on that theme, though, in this quote that ends that chapter:

Love is basically seeking your own happiness in the well-being of another.  It may be more than that, but it will never be less.  Selfishness, the deadly enemy of love, is not “seeking your own need.”  Selfishness is seeking your own need separately from the needs of others, or at the expense of others, or apart from God.  This is the kind of self-seeking that is condemned (Romans 2:8).  The opposite of selfishness is not selflessness.  That is often the lofty language of altruistic idealism run amok.  The opposite of selfishness is self-fulfillment in the holy joy and well-being of others.  This is doable.

Seek your happiness in the holy happiness of the other.  Sacrifice and submit to that end, and you can no more be divided than you can go out to dinner and leave your stomach at home.

With that, I’ll say that I enjoyed this book, and learned a lot from it.  It helped put many random ideas that I’ve had/been learning into a framework, so that my thinking can be structured, and brought up many “obvious” things that I hadn’t thought of before.

I would recommend it to everyone (even those with the gift of singleness….)

-Ben

1. Reading. I mentioned this last night at Real Life, and I’ll probably write more surrounding it for the Cru website and/or listserv in a bit, but the ESV blog is promoting a “Read The Bible In January” Bible reading plan. The basic premise is that people make a New Years’ Resolution to read the Bible, then quit after a little while for all sorts of reasons. Solution? Finish reading in that “little while”. I don’t know exactly how much I’m going to attempt to read. Maybe just all of the Old Testament and the Gospels, since I’ve been spending much of my devotional time in the New Testament Letters these last few months. And I don’t quite know when to start. I don’t own a paper ESV Bible (should have brought one back from Cornell…..), so maybe after Christmas?

2. More reading. I brought home a large stack of books to read. Of course, my entire Christmas list was books, so this list may change come December 25. Right now, the current ordering of that looks to be:

1. Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart by John Ensor
2. Finishing the last few chapters of The Mortification of Sin by John Owen
3. God Is The Gospel by John Piper
4. Preaching The Cross by Dever, Duncan, Mohler, and Mahaney
5. Some of Piper’s biographies, from The Roots of Endurance, The Legacy of Sovereign Joy, and The Hidden Smile of God

3. Programming. There are a few updates to be made to the Cru site, as well as a few interesting projects to be worked on. Perhaps I’ll write about these in the coming weeks…..

4. Blogging. Lots of free time and lots of reading means I should have lots of little things to say. The best way to keep up with them (and all blogs) is to subscribe with an RSS reader (see this explanation on the Cru blog about RSS readers).

-Ben